


Nightmares and Reality

by siobhrag



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, M/M, Nightmares, Romance, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Severus Snape Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25574224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siobhrag/pseuds/siobhrag
Summary: Harry had an awful nightmare.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 2
Kudos: 98





	Nightmares and Reality

**Author's Note:**

> Not betaed.

_Hogwarts ground have never been so quiet. Harry couldn’t hear a thing – no birds singing, no trees rustling their leaves. Harry couldn’t ever hear his own steps on the dirt road. The silence and quiet were deafening._

_The road wound up, seemingly endless. Harry couldn’t remember seeing it before, but something was making him continue walking forward. He could see the castle on his left; it seemed so close, but somehow Harry knew that were he to walk in that direction, he would never reach the building._

_Turning around a small hill, Harry stopped in the middle of the road. He could see its end far ahead; and something big standing at the very end of this weird path._

_As Harry slowly began walking again, some uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. He didn’t want to walk ahead, but he couldn’t stop either. He dreaded what he was about to see, even without knowing what it might be._

_When Harry reached the end of the road and the strange object standing there, he stopped several steps away from it and stared at it in horror. It was a low stone slab, grey, old, and almost completely covered by moss; and atop it sat the thing that frightened Harry so much. A coffin, made of blindingly white marble, with similarly blinding silk lining._

_Harry couldn’t breathe. He already knew who he would see inside, even without looking into the awful thing. But, again, he couldn’t stop himself from looking. He took several shaky steps forward and looked inside._

_Severus; his body clothed in his usual black robes, but almost completely covered by dozens of white lilies._

_Desperate sob escaped Harry’s throat. Severus’ face was so calm, relaxed; peaceful. With his eyes closed he seemed so young._

_No, it couldn’t be. He should have survived, he should have made it. Silent tears were rolling down Harry’s face, without him even noticing them._

_He should have come back to the Shack; he should have tried to save him._

_Harry gripped the edges of the marble coffin and cried. No. No. Severus should live. Harry had so much to tell him, to explain to him. He wanted to be with him. But Severus was gone, and there was nothing Harry could do about that. He was alone now, with all his feelings forever inside him, because Severus was gone and Harry couldn’t..._

Harry woke up with a gasp. For several minutes he lay still, listening to the quiet of the room being broken by his ragged breathing. Slowly, the reality came back. 

It was just another nightmare. Everything was fine. 

Harry rubbed at his burning eyes, and the hand came out wet. He was crying, not only in the dream. But it was a _dream_ , and nothing more, because the wedding ring on Harry’s hand proclaimed that the reality was completely different. 

The covers rustled and the familiar sleep-roughened voice dispelled any lingering doubts Harry might have had. "Harry, what is it?" 

Harry smiled weakly, with relief. "Nothing, Severus, it was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep." 

But even in the middle of the night Severus was way too perceptive to be appeased with several insignificant words. Harry felt his husband move, and in seconds Harry was pressed to the warm body. 

Harry immediately snuggled closer and wrapped his arms and legs around his bed partner. At once Severus slid his arms around Harry, holding him, grounding him.

"Whatever it was, it's not true." Severus' voice was soft, but real, confident.

Harry nodded his head slightly, and kissed Severus' chest softly. "Yeah, it isn't." 

Severus burrowed his nose into Harry’s hair and kissed the crown of Harry’s head. Severus' arms tightened a bit more around Harry, and then the man was asleep again.

Harry couldn't sleep, not anymore, not even with Severus (alive!) holding him tightly in their bed. The thoughts, disturbing and melancholic, kept swirling in his head.

It was not the first time he had seen this nightmare (for it was a nightmare for him, not just another bad dream). It usually appeared when something triggered the bad memories about the Battle and everything that happened after it. 

In a way, Harry mused, it might have been a reminder to appreciate what he had (not that he didn't); the reminder that he might have lost everything had he not acted the way he did all those years ago. For years after Harry was glad that he did exactly what others told him not to do. He went back to the Shack, and he did save Severus. And now they have been married for fifteen years.

With an almost perceptible start Harry realised two things - that today was the twentieth anniversary of the Battle, and that he himself was now the exact age Severus had been when he almost died.

Harry kissed Severus chest again, softly caressing the slightly furrowed chest with the tips of his fingers. Severus smiled softly in his sleep, but didn't wake.

Thirty-eight wasn't old. Even at seventeen Harry understood that, but the true realisation hit him only now. He still had so many dreams to fulfil, still had so much love to give to Severus. 

Harry raised his head a bit and looked at Severus’ sleeping face. Even in sleep several lines kept lingering on Severus’ face. Years and stress left their marks on Harry’s husband. Harry gently traced the outline of Severus’ jaw with his fingers.

Merlin, how he loved him. 

The mere thought that he might not had any of this filled Harry with dread. He almost lost it, all those years ago. But it was past, and the present was much, much better.

Harry kissed the corner of Severus’ mouth softly and settled back into the warm embrace. He wouldn’t sleep tonight, but he would enjoy the warm and solid presence of Severus in his life. For as long as he could; for as long as they could.


End file.
